LASTING RESOLUTIONS: THE ONE THING PEOPLE MISS
When you have a desire for a better tomorrow, a need to make necessary advancements or changes in your life or work… You have a meaningful story to write and tell, an ambition to work on and realize and live for. Will your “New Year’s Resolution” to get you there hold strong… this time for real?
Yes? No? Maybe? Why Not? How yes?
I’ve been speaking about this with hundreds of people and companies around the world over the last few years. The focus and emphasis aimed specifically at retaining real desire and deep attachment to achieving one’s objective is clearly missing some attention and punch. It’ll require a somewhat deeper, better perspective.
Ok, first, a really quick summary of what doesn’t work well enough.
The “Where You Come From & Where You’re Headed To” approach:
*Why* we choose a specific resolution can be related to what we are, what we have or what we are doing at a specific time. The resolution then addresses where/how we want to be from now on or what we are looking to accomplish. Simply, the ‘why’ sits at the essence of the need to head away from what was or is and towards that specific goal one has set. The ‘What’ is the gold; the desired newness achieved.
Later on in time, it’s obviously important to have a reliable way to remind us of how things were and something to keep our eye and heart on our mission. No news there. In fact, one tends to easily lapse into remembering what was and one can be good at even visualizing the goal and its benefits. And yet, this just doesn’t seem to hold in the longer term.
So, that’s not enough. If you’ve ever “decided for real this time” and yet stopped working towards your objective, you know that’s true. As we all know, for many seemingly justifiable reasons, somewhere along the path our plans can be interrupted, our efforts disrupted or our motivation can be weakened or lost…
What’s your anchor? From where your strength?
Here’s the key:
To maintain the essential mental and emotional strength to not be swayed from one’s efforts one needs to remain deeply aware of the ‘trigger‘ that brought about the decision in the first place.
Beyond and better than the rational “aha!” moment, you need to learn how to ‘experience’ again the same exciting or demanding emotional trigger, completely, in an instant. It’s not good enough to recall the ‘how it was’ or even the ‘why’ nor even to visualize the ‘what will be’. To reignite that emotional pull or push will prove far more powerful as an empowering motivator to those that need it at some point along the way. The emotional trigger that brought you to the decision to make the decision is key.
To do this, go back to the ‘moment’, the precipitating ‘event’, the ‘feeling’, the ‘need’… Relive how you felt when you decided what you want. Remember when you said you’ll do this or that, when your mind set itself to make this or that change and you felt driven to this or that goal and committed to making the necessary effort… Think back. What happened? How did you feel? Dwell on that. Feel it now?
Then create an easily accessible, readily visible, clear reminder of THAT ‘moment’ and ‘feeling’ when you almost instinctively (if perhaps impulsively) decided to make your decision. It might be something ‘embarrassing’ or something that reminds you of some ‘guilt’, or it might be something immediately pleasing, something that reminds you of your joy or your sense of peace then… Whatever it is, make it something that instantly touches you emotionally more than rationally – for that is what will never go away until you have achieved your goal.
This works for all and anyone and any resolution. Whether you represent companies or managers desperately trying to remind your team of the decisions past made, or if you’re an individual with dreams fading or ambitions frayed.
Let’s not focus too much on your actual ‘resolution’ itself. Let’s just assume you do have a good rational backbone for your decision and well-founded faith in its success. The idea here is to know how you can best ensure that you can maintain commitment to your well-chosen resolution.
In short, what will keep your attachment to your resolution strong – at times when it seems to be weakening or lost – is your ability to ‘relive’ the moment, to rekindle the fire, revive the feeling and the ‘decision to decide’, to experience again and refresh anew your initial commitment. That is the lasting anchor that many people miss… but you won’t now, will you?
You’ve made it this far down the page, thank you:) Do you need help finding or defining the trigger, creating a good reminder or deciding on your next best steps towards future growth at all? Do you want more insight, some refreshing ideas and actionable goals? I’ll be delighted to be of any further help.
So please ‘share’ this article and its message and do be in touch! I’ll definitely do my best to get back to you very quickly too.
Looking forward to hearing from you very soon,
Keep it real; keep it interesting!